"Soul Seeds: May - Letting Go and Trusting God"
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In May, I'm choosing to live in the spirit of jeda, in selah - slowing down, being quiet to notice God's nearness.
The chaos of April taught me what it feels like to carry too much. I got stuck. Emotionally, spiritually, even artistically. My canvas looked like my inner world: layered, overworked, anxious, uncertain. But with May comes a sacred invitation - to step into a pause. To let go. To make room.
Jeda is an Indonesian word that means pause - a space between moments. Selah, the Hebrew word often found in the Psalms, also means to pause, reflect, and lift up. Both offer us a gentle invitation to breathe again. To remember we're not alone. That God's presence can meet us in the in-between.
As @emilygainesdemsky wrote in her February Substack reflection:
"The hard stuff is loud, and the good stuff is quieter, and the only way I know how to turn up the volume... is to notice, name, and share it. The more of us doing that, the louder the good stuff gets."
Letting go is rarely clean or easy. Jill Sherer Murrayβs TEDx talk *The Unstoppable Power of Letting Go* reminded me that releasing the wrong things often leads to reclaiming whatβs right and real. I realized: Iβm not just here to survive the aftermath of my epiphanies. Iβm here to flourish - even through them. But not alone. Letting go is holy work, because it creates space for God to enter and carry what we were never meant to hold on our own.
Here are the five ways I'm practicing that letting go:
1. **I wonβt take things personally.** Othersβ reactions are their responsibility - not mine.
2. **Iβll let go of what other people think.** Some will love my creativity, some will be indifferent, and some might even dislike it. That's okay.
3. **I wonβt strive to be something Iβm not.** My "too much" energy is part of how I navigate anxiety - and some people love that about me.
4. **I will stop chasing perfection.** Even jugglers take breaks. Iβm allowed to rest.
5. **I will replace my βtoo muchβ mentality with presence.** One day at a time. One grace at a time.
This process is not just emotional decluttering - itβs sacred surrender. Itβs trusting that God will fill the space thatβs left behind, giving me a soft place to land.
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**Prayer**
Father,
Keep my anger from becoming meanness;
my sorrow from collapsing internally;
my heart soft enough to keep breaking;
my outrage turned toward justice, not strength.
Lord, remind me that all of this - every bit of it - is for love.
Keep me fiercely kind.
Amen.
Music:
Kierre Bjorn - "You Walk With Me"
https://youtu.be/0scHCsFBThI?si=3K8o5LjkIcRx7RBO
"May my heart be tender and my
soul be still
Finding rest in wonder, waiting in
the cover of Your kindness
On this road we're walking into
mystery
Father find me open, no matter
where we're going
You are for me
Hallelujah, You walk with me"
